Why, may we ask, are you
wandering the bowels of this website? Are you a nutty nut? Or did you click the LINGER link?
We suspect that in the short minute or two you've been with us you've
already become sadly addicted to Kno and Go University and it's pain-free approach to
Tell you what Ace, we've got 'em coming and going
all day-- so we don't got the patience for linger bunnies.
It's WEANING TIME for you. That's right-- wean
your thirsty lips from Kno
and Go and its pain-free approach right now. Be GONE! Oh please
Here, maybe a chant will help. Repeat this
over and over as you try very hard to depart-- "Hintable, printable, lintable. My
skull it ain't a-dentable."
What, back again? Either the chant lost its
effectiveness, or you brazenly ignored our request and never left these
that's it-- YOU never actually left these hallowed halls.
Hmmm. There must be something more to this lingering of yours.
Our guess is you're pissed 'cause your Kno and Go GPA
was 1.3. Well Ace, we're easy-- just apply for a grade
change and we'll raise it to 4.0 (or even 8.0).
But please, please stop this lingering. You're
dragging down the whole institution.
Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin', quit that silly scrollin'
Goodness gracious-- STILL
here? You must think this is a real
university like Harvard or Princeton. A place where
grades matter. A place where you can linger for decades.
Well, Ace, you've got us wrong. We're not a
real university. We're not even a real diploma
mill. The fake diploma isn't even a real fake diploma. It's more like a
fake fake diploma, or a phony fake diploma, or a maybe a bogus phony fake diploma.*
Do yourself a favor-- leave academia behind and go listen to your Christina
Agulera albums or something.
*This school's so fake they won't even let us in the
fake diploma club.
Golly Ace, Y-O-U
are S-T-I-L-L here? It's mighty embarrassing. At this point you
qualify for our special award
certificate. Yeah ,the one for lifetime lingering. That's bad-- bad like blue butter. The whole idea is DON'T
LINGER (much less spend your whole life here).
You better get the heck out before we call the Kno and Go campus
police. Push us and we'll let our pig, Mr. Skeeter, loose on you.